Just Do It

Most days I have a never ending To Do List. Whether it's in my head, or I actually write it down, The List is always following me like a needy puppy. I tend to measure my sense of accomplishment (and maybe my self worth) by this list and the number of check marks on it. I go through most of my days with very few tasks completed, and as a result, I don't feel like I measure up very well. Crumbs have set up permanent residence on my kitchen floor; my bathrooms require a HAZMAT suit to use them (which makes showering a bit pointless); I've lost my patience with my kids (yet again); I have no plan for dinner despite my third trip to the grocery store this week; the side porch railings still need to be primed and painted; and that doctor's appointment is not going to schedule itself. What the hell have I done this week? Where are my check marks? Why does everyone else seem to have their sh#@* together so much more than I do?

Or, do they?

If I stop beating myself up for half a second and take a look from a different perspective, I might just find a reason to give myself a check mark or two.

Did I clean a bathroom this week? No, but I did get a part-time job at the mall's customer service center for 8 hours per week while Blue is in preschool. It's not a career (I actually like to think of it as a 'joblette'), but you never know where it could lead, and, more importantly, I took action instead of just thinking about it. Check!

Did I practice perfect patience with my kids? No, but I discovered a better way to entice Boogah to finish his homework. And when he finished it (with a 1/2 hour to spare before dinner I might add), I told him repeatedly how proud I was of him and how much I loved him. Check!

Did I schedule a doctor's appointment today? Actually, I scheduled three -- all for me. Check!

Did I prime and paint the porch railings? No, but I ran 3.25 miles on the treadmill at the gym--the farthest I've run in years, proving to myself that I have more stamina than I thought I did. And when I finished the run, I told myself how proud I was of me and how much I (need to) love me. Check!

My original To Do List still remains somewhat lacking in check marks. I still haven't swept up those damn crumbs from my kitchen floor, but I see that despite a few pesky undone household chores, I do accomplish things. So does that maybe, just maybe, mean that I actually do measure up? Check!