Birthday Bash

One birthday party down, one more to go this year. Boogah turns 7 this week (I CAN'T believe it), and we had his party at one of those places that has enormous inflatable jumpy things. This type of place is perfect for a 7 year old birthday -- especially when it's all boys. 6 and 7 year old boys need to do a lot of jumping. Boogah goes to an all boys' school, so pretty much all of his friends now are boys. I invited 21 boys to this party --all the boys in his class and then some. Needless to say, I was freaking out a bit at the thought of having to keep track of that many bodies jumping around in inflatables, but, since his birthday always falls on Labor Day weekend or during the week before, we only had 10 guests actually come. I was a little worried that no one would be in town during these last weekends of summer, but thankfully, 10 were and it was the perfect number (total of 12 boys including Boogah and Blue). They seemed to have a great time running from one inflatable to the other jumping and sliding and climbing. Even Blue managed to hang with the big guys and do his fare share of running and jumping and sliding and climbing--whatever big brother can do, I can do better!

The only issue of the day was when Boogah had a collision at the bottom of a slide with some random girl (unfortunately, you can't reserve the whole jumpy place for your party -- you have to actually SHARE it with strangers--you'd think that $240 would get you a little more than communal inflatables, but oh well). Somehow he managed to hurt her hand and being a young girl, she immediately burst into dramatic tears and ran out of the inflatable to her mom. I happened to look up just after the collision occurred as she was climbing out of the inflatable. Boogah took one look at her, then me, then burst into tears himself! I've seen this before when he's inadvertently really hurt his little brother. He feels so bad about doing harm to someone else, that he just breaks apart. Until moments such as these, I seem to forget how sensitive he is. When he's bullying his little brother or trying to push my buttons until I've blown my top, it's hard for me to think of him as a very sensitive child, but he is--very. I motioned for him to come to me and when he got there, he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head into my stomach and cried and cried. I was able to get him to calm down long enough to walk over to the girl, who was with her mother by this point, the water works still on full power. The mom, who from her calm almost apathetic demeanor, appeared to be quite used to this type of behavior and was telling her daughter to just put a wet paper towel on it if it still hurt and asking her if she was sure that she "really needed ice?" My poor, sweet little boy and I stood there waiting for what seemed like an eternity to get a word in edgewise through her endless sobbing so that he could apologize. He finally got in a very controlled and brave, "I'm sorry," which of course, the little... ahem.... girl didn't even acknowledge. She was too busy crying and looking at her hand. I wasn't sure what to say myself at this point when I saw her completely ignore the sorry. Boogah tried once more, saying another perfectly acceptable "I'm sorry." Now, maybe the girl misinterpreted his serious tone for insincerity rather than simply trying very hard to hold back his tears and keep his dignity in tact, but that little...ahem...child refused to acknowledge his apology yet again! Even more astounded this time, I stood there wondering what the protocol in this type of situation was and looked at the mother. I was just about to march Boogah away from Little Miss Drama Queen when her mother FINALLY said, "Thank you for apologizing." Jeez! My poor son is torn up inside about bumping your daughter's hand BY ACCIDENT in an inflatable JUMPY place, and it takes you THAT long to acknowledge the very plain fact that he's apologizing when he could have easily not given a rat's ass about her and kept on playing with no remorse?! Do you see his tears and how hard this is for him? Come on people! It was all I could do not to tell Princess Cries A Lot to show me her other hand so I could give her something to really cry about. Mess with the Mama Bear's cubs and you get the claws little missy!

We walked away at that point, and Boogah lost it again. He assumed the position with his arms wrapped around me and his head buried in my stomach. My poor baby. It was killing me that this was happening--and at his own birthday party!! I tried to comfort him, telling him to no avail that he'd done the right thing in apologizing, and that I was proud of him for doing it. And I must admit, in desperation, I may have even said that sometimes girls can be a little over dramatic and make a big deal out of nothing and that it's just for attention and that she'll be fine in five minutes and...OK, I know, I know. I really should not have put those kind of judgements about girls into my impressionable 7 year old boy's head, but I know in my heart of hearts that with that particular girl it was oh so true. I didn't want him to think he had caused her so much bodily harm that it truly warranted all those tears and the lack of any acknowledgement of his apology. I wanted him to know that he had done all he could do to remedy the situation and that he'd taken responsibility for his actions. I didn't want her need for attention to ruin his birthday party. I don't know if it was right or not, but I said it nonetheless. I also told him to let it go and not to let it ruin his day. He got himself together again after that and with a sniffle, a quick wipe of the nose, and a kiss for me, he went right back over to where it had all gone down and started to jump again. Whew! That was a sticky wicket! I think I actually let out a sigh of relief once I saw him back to jumping and trying to have fun again. However, after a few minutes, I noticed that he was still in that particular inflatable and had been jumping alone for quite a while--the rest of his party guests in another inflatable across the room. I started to go get him, but then I realized that he needed to have that time to himself to recover--not only from feeling so lousy about what happened but also to put some space between when he may have been seen crying in his mommy's arms from when he was back in the presence of his friends. I gave him this space. I understood. I've been there. I often need moments alone to recover, to save face. After he'd had enough time alone, I suggested he join his friends in the other inflatable. He did, and the rest of the party was a breeze. Not a word was mentioned again of the incident, which I assume, means that he really did let it go. I certainly hope so.

There is a part of me that knows it's a good thing that he got so upset. It shows he truly cares about other people and how his actions affect them. I have to admit that I've wondered a little bit about this at times--like say, oh I don't know, when he's using his little brother's head as a step stool?